Malicious Monday: Queen Madalena

Queen Madalena is a character portrayed by Mallory Jansen in the ABC comedy-musical-fairytale hybrid show Galavant. It has a Monty Python and the Holy Grail feel to it, but it's a series and a lot more modern. It tells the tale of Galavant, a heroic knight who's in love with the fair and beautiful maiden, Madalena. Though their relationship is super sex-driven, Galavant truly loves Madalena with all his heart. Madalena is kidnapped by King Richard, and is forced to be his bride. Galavant storms Richard's castle before Madalena can say "I do" to rescue her, however, Madalena chooses to marry the King for the wealth a power, kicking Galavant to the curb.

A year later, Madalena has grown board and miserable in her marriage. She's convinced her simple-minded husband that she's taken a vow of chastity and still hasn't consummated the marriage. Madalena is far from Chaste. She's been sexing up the Jester, and everyone seems to know it but the dim-witted King.

Throughout their marriage, Madalena has constantly berated the King for not being as manly as his rival, Galavant. She loathes her marriage, but enjoys the extravagant lifestyle she leads as Queen. Madalena somehow finds out about this jewel in Valencia. She makes King Richard raid the kingdom of Valencia, kill most the people and burn the crops just so she can have this jewel. She's a stone cold bitch. Even her lover, the Jester isn't immune from her cruelty. When the Jester becomes friends with King Richard, he calls things off with her. Not having a sex toy anymore, Madalena is furious so she sends him to the dungeon without a second thought.

Eventually Madalena grows weary of her loopy husband in power, so she decides she needs to do something about it. After finding out her husband is plotting behind her back, Madalena concocts a plan. She writes her husband's cruel and callous brother, Kingsley to come and forcefully take over Richard's kingdom. Meanwhile, King Richard has captured her ex-lover Galavant. Galavant professes his love for her, but all Madalena wants is for Gal to be her love slave. She doesn't want love, she doesn't want to run off with him and live a peasant life. She wants power and money. Galavant turns down Madalena's offer to be her sex toy, so she decides he's useless.

After Kingsley takes over Richard's kingdom, Madalena realizes that he will never allow her to rule along side of him. She kills him by stabbing him in the back with a nonchalant attitude. And the season of Galavant ends with Madalena taking over the kingdom herself.

While Madalena is cold and dead inside, she also reveals she has a softer, more sensituve side. When she was a child, her parents ran out of money and they had no food. They forced her to kill her pet goat, skin her, cook her and eat her. After that day, Madalena made a vow that she would never have to do anything like that again.

In many ways, all her life Madalena has just been seen as a hot woman with no real intelligence. Men didn't really care about her thoughts or feelings, they just wanted her in a sexual way. Because of this, Madalena has had to use her sexuality as weapon. Don't get me wrong, she enjoys it! This lady loves her some sex! The thing that makes her a villain is the very same thing we should pity for. She's dead inside. She doesn't want to give anything that shows a sign of light or love because she sees this as weakness and she doesn't want to get screwed over again... well, at least not in that way.

She's self-serving, vain, materialistic and looks damn good with a crown on her head. Love her or hate her, she's a strong, fierce woman who won't stop until she get's what she wants and never has to worry about killing and eating her pets again.

Villain Score: LAST DANISH

For more information on Galavant, click HERE
For more information on the talented Mallory Jansen, click HERE