Cosmetic companies are sadists. They love, love, love to get us hooked on a product and then discontinue it. It's metaphorically them bending us over a mini-bar or pinball machine and fucking us senseless, and all we can do is take it in the ass, because they're a big corporation with all the power and money, and we're just modest consumers at the mercy of their decisions on what we can and can't buy from them. There's nothing you can do but, I don't know cry I guess.
Over the years there have been many wonderful products that I've loved that have been axed for one reason or another. Maybe they wanted to revamp the formula or it wasn't selling as much as they wanted, whatever. It's stupid! Here are some products I fondly remember.
Lancome Primordiale Cell Defense Serum
I don't know if it defended any sort of cells, but it was a stellar serum. Lancome is always messing around with their formulas, claiming that the current formula is the BEST, MOST EXCITING formula EVER, only to turn around and reformulate it a few years, or months, later. It's super annoying. This made my skin silky smooth and made my pores invisible. It's long been replaced by like a million other serums, mainly Genefique which is an absolute disaster of a formula. It has alcohol as it's SECOND ingredient. It's just dumb.
Benefit Cosmetics Dear John - a Movin' On Facial Cream
Benefit has always been one of the WORST brands when it comes to discontinuing their products. Never, ever get attached to something Benefit puts out because it'll just be gone within a few years, though they have kept a few products around, I look for them to get rid of them and bring something else out any day. Benefit has always been a kitchie, tongue-in-cheek brand. As far as I can remember, none of their product packaging matched, each product has always had it's own theme. This was the case with their Dear John face cream.
It was a beautiful formulation. It was thick and luxurious, but didn't feel heavy on the skin. It sank right in leaving your skin feeling baby soft. The campaign for this cream was so clever and fun. The idea was to ditch your old face cream as you would a bad lover, and move on to this one, a face cream that could satisfy you better. From what I could tell, the cream sold great and had a following. Unfortunately, Benefit decided to do away with their old skincare and come out with fancy new packaging. I wish I could say the replacement face cream was just Dear John in a new jar, but it's not, it doesn't even compare.
Prescriptives All You Need+ For Eyes
I literally cried when this was gone. Estee Lauder, who is the mother corporation of Prescriptives, decided to pull the plug on this brand. All the counters closed, but their was such an outcry from customers that Estee Lauder decided to produce a select few products that were fan favorites and relaunch Perscriptives as an online only store. I was excited that I would finally be able to purchase my beloved All You Need For Eyes again! Unfortunately, it's not the same formula. The original was far more hydrating and soothing, the new one... I don't know. It just leaves something to be desired. I think they reformulated it when they relaunched, and it so sad. Oh well, you can't win em' all.
OH DEAR GOD WHY!?!?!? It was such a tragedy the day I went to my hair salon and found out this was gone. I would mix it with Redken For Men Get Groomed Finishing Cream for the perfect hair style! NOW IT'S GONE! They replaced it with this weird gel that's disgusting! I HATE IT! No. 8 was just the tits in the mouth! The best gel there's ever been and probably ever will be again! BITCH!
Estee Lauder Sparkling Clean Purifying Mud Foam Cleanser
Goddammit Estee Lauder! This was an AMAZING cleanser! It was a thick, mud-like(hence the name) goop that you squeezed out of a mint green tube. It smelled of freshness and deliciousness! Once you added water, it foamed up into a luxurious, but not overly-bubbly lather. It left skin feeling refreshed and clean, but not dry and tight. For one reason or another, Estee Lauder hates me and decided to revamp their cleansers. The new ones, while with a shorter name, pale in comparison to this lost love.
Redken No. 8
Wella Lifetex Wake Up Call Hydrating Purity Wash and Big Splash Rinse
I can't even begin to tell you how hard I looked for this stuff EVERYWHERE once it was chopped from Wella's line. These were the most amazing shampoo and conditioner I have ever used! I have yet to fine something that made me as happy as these. The way they felt, smelled and made my hair silk-like. If you remember this stuff, you know what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, it was expensive and the bottles were much smaller than normal shampoo and conditioner at the time, which is why Wella got rid of them. Truly sad. But seriously, go fuck yourself Wella.
Flash Shiner 3 Way Nail Buffer
This have me the prefect manicured looking nails. I've always had deep ridges, and this just made them disappear. It left behind the most epic shine! It didn't look like polish, it just made your nails look clean and well-kept. I have no idea what happened to this buffer, but I've never been ablet o find another like it. BRING IT BACK!!!
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Benefit Cosmetics Smoooch
The one thing I'm probably the most upset about on this list is Smoooch. If you never used it, then you wouldn't understand. It was THE PERFECT lip balm. As soon as it hit your lips, it moisturized them. I remember initially getting it because the name sounded adorable! It came in a lip gloss packaging. so it was a little awkward putting it on in public. Each tube was $20, which also probably had something to do with why it wasn't selling.
When I heard they were discontinuing it, I freaked. I went out and bought as many as I could, which was like 6. My last one. unfortunately, was found by my little sister who used it over her lipstick and ruined it. *Pours one out*. Benefit replaced Smoooch with something stupid called California Kissing or something like that. It's horrible. #BringBackSmoooch! That's never going to catch on.
*******
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| This is how I felt when Smoooch was gone forever. |
Let me know what products the cosmetic companies have so viciously snatched away from you.
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