Malicious Monday: Albert Wesker

Today, let's pay homage to one of the most bad-ass, delusional and psychotic video game villains of all, Albert Wesker from the Resident Evil franchise.

What can I say about Albert Wesker? He's blonde, evil, manipulative and straight up psychotic. He's obsessed with power and craves it with every bit of his existence. He's also a incredible dresser and knows how to wear sunglasses.

I'm getting an "Iceman" vibe.

We first meet Albert Wesker as the Captian of the elite STARS team of Raccoon City in the first Resident Evil game. After strange, cannibalictic murders occur in the mountains surrounding the city, Wesker has his team go in and investigate. It's revealed that the evil pharmaceutical company, Umbrella, has been conducting illegal and dangerous bio-weapon research in a mansion with a hidden facility beneath it. The virus that the scientist worked on escaped the lab, turning all the researchers and residents of the facility into zombies, and releasing many monstrosities upon the mansion. The cannibalistic murders that have occurred around Raccoon City have been the result of this contagion.

"The STARS members were my little piggies.."

Soon the surviving members of STARS, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Rebecca Chambers and Barry Burton, learn that their own Captain, Albert Wesker, is working for Umbrella, and led them into the hazardous situation to test the un-Godly experiments. Eventually, Wesker is killed by his own creation, a monster nicknamed Tyrant, but not before injecting himself with a prototype virus a his friend William Birkin had been working on.

BFF's William Birkin and Wesker.

The virus re-animated his cells, and Wesker came back to life and escaped the facility before it was blown up by his fellow surviving STARS members. Of course, they had no idea Wesker was alive, neither did Umbrella. Wesker used his "Rebirth" as a way to leave Umbrella and pursue his own endeavors.

That's right ladies! Wesker will treat you real gooood!

Wesker makes an appearance in Resident Evil: Code Veronica. This is where Chris Redfield, Wesker's arch nemesis, learns that he's still alive. As a result of injecting the virus in his system, Wesker is now revealed to be super-human. He has impossible amounts of strength and ridiculous amount of speed. Chris fights Wesker with all his might, but it's no use. Chris escapes and Wesker vows to kill him.

Something has changed since we last saw Wesker. Can you figure it out?

Years later, Wesker obtained a parasitic organism called Plaga. He began experimenting with Plaga, and eventually partnered with pharmaceutical company TRICELL to help with his research. It's during this time Wesker tracks down Oswell E.Spencer, one of the founders of Umbrella. Spencer tells Wesker that he was part of an opperation called the Wesker Plan. This involved kidnapping children of incredible intellect from all over the world (giving the the surname Wesker named after the chief researcher on the project) and brainwashing them to believe in Spencer's ideals. They were kept in controlled environments all over the world under Umbrella's watchful eye. All the Wesker children were injected with a prototype virus and Wesker was the only known child to survive.

Got red eye? Try Clear Eyes, Wow.

Learning this sends Wesker into a rage and he kills Spencer, only minutes before Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine come to arrest Spencer. Chris and Jill fight Wesker, but to no avail. Wesker has only grown in power. Just as Wesker is about to kill Chris, Jill tackles him and they both fly out a window. Their bodies are never recovered and they're presumed dead.

It's the Wesker and Jill Show! 

Both Wesker and Jill survived the fall, but Jill was badly injured. He took Jill back to his hideout, put her in a cryogenic sleep and performed experiments on her.her. He put a device on her chest that continuously injected her with a chemical. This chemical allowed him to have complete control over her, making her do whatever he desired.

"Hey Excella, I promise parasites will not spew from your body and envelope you as you slowly die."

At the same time, Wesker teamed up with Excella Gionne, a TRICELL executive. Together they envisioned a new world where only superior humans existed. Wesker decided he would be a god and rule over this new species of evolved humans. Together they were going to unleash Wesker's new plague called Uroboros on humanity, turning everyone. According to Wesker, only those who didn't die from the plague were worthy of living, the rest were weak, and needed to be cleansed. Wesker wanted to be the world's "savior." In Resident Evil 5, things don't go as planned when Chris Redfield crashes his party. Wesker has Jill fight Chris, in hopes that they would kill each other. Chris eventually gets the divice off of Jill's chest so she's freed of Wesker's power over her. Wesker fucks over his partner, Excella, and tries to fulfill his plan, but Chris wasn't about to let that happen. Wesker and Chris have multiple showdowns, until Chris finally defeats him in a volcano. As far as we know, Albert Wesker is now dead.

They have issues.

Okay, there ya go. You're caught up now! Resident Evil has such a vast and intricate story line, I'm sure I missed a whole bunch of shit, but I'm not here to talk about the story line, I'm here to talk about Albert Wesker! So if I missed something, bite me.

The only thing more ungodly than Wesker in this picture are Excella's giant knockers.

Wesker makes a fantastic villain! You could call him a stereotype by wanting nothing but world domination, but he does it so well! He has done nothing but manipulate and murder people the entire 18 years the Resident Evil franchise has been around, excluding last couple of games he hasn't been in of course.With a franchise like Resident Evil, you NEED to have a devious villain to fuck up the main hero's Christmas. 

Look! I turned her blonde! Like me!

When you think about Wesker's origins, you can't help but feel a tiny bit bad for him. He was manufactured to be an uber intelligent, cold human being. He was completely lacking in any sympathy for anyone. When he was Captain of STARS, he watched almost all his comrades come to a gruesome end and felt absolutely nothing. These are people he has known for TWO FREAKIN' YEARS! He trained these people to be the absolute best, only to turn around and watch them get slaughtered! 

7 Minutes!

Working as an undercover Umbrella agent, Wesker had everything he could have wanted, but he still thirsted for more. He had an insatiable appetite for power. He knew he could achieve it. At first it was just Umbrella he wanted to control. This eventually lead to him wanting to be ruler of all human-kind. He wanted to be a god. 

Wesker shows emotion for the first time. Kodak moment right here!

He killed thousands of people in Resident Evil 5 when he unleashed the Uroboros plague upon a region in Africa. He didn't care. Nothing phased him. He was always cool, calm and collected. It wasn't until the very end when he showed an ungodly amount of rage. He refused to go down without a fight, and he gave Chris Redfield the fight of his life. 

Wesker's final form. He's like the most terrifying Pokemon ever!

Other video game villains only dream of being as evil as Albert Wesker. All the video game villains including: Dr. Robotnik, Sephiroth, Psycho Mantis, Shao Kahn, Pyramid Head, GLaDOS, Giovanni from Pokemon, even dysentery from Oregon Trail can all sit the fuck down suck Alber Wesker's diiiack!!! Wesker is driving the BAD BUS and all them bitches are passengers! 

VILLAIN SCORE: Sunglasses At Night