Malicious Monday: Team Rocket

"Prepare for trouble!

Make it double!

To protect the world with devastation!

To unite all people within our nation!

To denounce the evil of truth and love!

To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jessie!

James!

Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!

Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Meowth. That's right!"

James secretly wants to borrow Jessie's earrings. 

YAAAAAAASSSSS! It's another Malicious Monday! Today we're talking about Jessie and James from Team Rocket in the popular anime/video game Pokemon. I used to love Pokemon! Pokemon was like my crack as a kid! I still love it... to an extent. After the second generation of Pokemon, I really fucking hate it, so we will not be talking about Team Rocket past first generation because, like a homeless man or screaming baby, I like to pretend the other don't exist. 

This Team Rocket trio consists of Jessie, James and their sidekick Pokemon, Meowth. Throughout the anime They constantly follow Ash and the gang trying to steal other people's Pokemon, particularly Ash's Pikachu.  They're a joke. To call them villains would be like calling Matthew McConaughey a real actor. 

Oh... we suck at being villains.

Jessie is seen as the trio's leader. She has a short fuse and tends to go off very easily. She's an all around diva, and refuses to give up no matter how lost the cause is. It's revealed that she had an unstable childhood, due to her mother being a crazy bitch who loved her job at Team Rocket far more than she could ever love Jessie. Jessie met James in some sort of college where they were studying Pokemon. Both got the lowest possible grades and were kicked out. 

James was born extremely wealthy, but left his life of privilege when he was being forced into an arranged marriage. He and Jessie joined Team Rocket and have been partners along with Mewoth ever since. Unlike Jessie and Mewoth, James has more of a conscience. He doesn't like the dirty tactics that come with his job. He's more caring and shows more emotion than other members of Team Rocket. 

Meowth is the third member of the trio. He was once living to Hollywood where he joined a pack of Meowths who caused a considerable amount of trouble. He fell in love with female Meowth named Meowzie, but she rejected his love and instead went to live with a wealthy human who took care of her every need. Meowth studied and learned how to speak and act like a human so he could get Meowzie back, however this backfired. Meowzie saw him as a freak. 

Brokenhearted and rejected, Meowth joined Team Rocket, where he became a personal pet to the leader of Team Rocket, Giovanni. Meowth was rejected again, when Giovanni chose Meowth's evolved form, Persian, over him. Meowth now works with Jessie and James to try and get back into Giovanni's good graces

Meowth that's right!

What I love about Team Rocket is how delusional they are. They constantly talk a big game, but when it comes down to walking the walk, they never have what it takes. Ash and his friends always defeat them. Every. Single. Time. They're very theatrical with their entrances, They have like smoke bombs, lights, holograms, all kinds of shit to make their entrance special. It has have to be costing the Team Rocket people a lot of money.

Their plans getting thwarted as usual.

I also loved all their disguises. They constantly were cooking up schemes to steal Ash's Pikachu, and almost always worked in a good ole' disguise! Thank goodness Ash and his friends are STOOOOPID. The disguises are NOT good. It's kinda like Clark Kent and his glasses that fool everyone in Metropolis. With all the money they spend on costumes and specail effects for their entrances, it has to costing Team Rocket a lot of money. i'm sure they're accountant is sitting back, adding up the cost of all the lights and smoke-bombs they're using and just shaking his head. 

James would use ANY excuse to get in a dress.

From what I understand now, Jessie, James and Meowth are kinda badass and have become a serious threat to Ash and his friends, but that doesn't matter. No one care about anything after the first generation. I really don't have time to learn all these new Pokemon and their weaknesses, blah blah blah. It's stupid. 

How do you afford all these costumes?

I will always think back on this Trio fondly. I loved their antics and their complete lack of reality. They are the goofy villains who always mess things up, and are more of an annoyance to the protagonist than a serious threat. Those kinds of villains are always fun!  

One of their many attempts to capture Ash's Pikachu.

Villain Score: Ash's Pikachu