Thursday Thoughts: Gay Marriage

I used this on Facebook. I'm using it again. Because it's AWESOME. 

Every Thursday-ish, I will be sharing my thoughts on issues. Everyone's opinions matter... except for the KKK, Nazi's and the terrorists opinions. Those opinions are idiotic. Since this is my blog, I thought, why not share what I think with the rest of the world? For the sake of Science it must be done.

Let's just dive right in like Tom Daley(see what I did there? Because he's a gay swimmer? Never mind.). I'm absolutely, 1000000000000000% for gay marriage. I think it's stupid that we live in a time where this is still a mothafuckin' issue!

My God people! It's 2014! I don't understand why some people are so against gay people getting married! It's not like it personally affects you, unless you're gay and want to get married. If you don't want to be in a gay marriage with someone, here's an idea: DON'T BE IN ONE!!! Stop being a dick-hole and refusing the rights of people who have done NOTHING to you! Who are you to judge other people's lives anyway?

Using cupcakes in a metaphor is always a win.

I promise you! If gay marriage becomes legal, no one is going to come to your house in the middle of the night, kidnap you, drag you to Vegas and make you marry someone of the same sex... unless you're into that sort of thing, no judgement. But seriously, how does it effect you, REALLY? You have a gay married couple move in next door? What's wrong with that? if anything they'll help the property value go up by landscaping their lawn and taking perfect care of their house, If you're not dicks to them, they might even invite you over to one of their fabulous cocktail parties. I don't see the problem here.

And if married Lesbians move in next door, you'll never have to worry about it being too noisy! Most lesbians I know are very quiet and keep to themselves. They're also very handy around the house. If you ever have a leaky pipe or any sort of appliance problem, call your next door lesbian! They're MAJOR problem solvers! Most problems I've had have been solved by talking to one of my best lesbian friends. The ones I know are very good at advice and have a great perspective of things. It's like the great Karen Walker said "Because they don't sleep with men, their other senses are heightened."

Of course I'm trying to make this article humorous as well as stating my opinion, I. of course. know that not ALL gay men and women are like that, but my point is still somewhat valid.

Let's get down to the REAL issue here. Let's say you're against gay marriage. If all of a sudden gay marriage became legal, how would it effect your life really? I'm honestly asking. How? Because I can't think of any way, shape or form how it would effect you. If you're a sound minded person:

 1) Why are you reading this blog? It's absolute fuckery!

 B) You believe that every person on Earth should have equal rights and be happy. 

Maybe I'm simple or have a mind of a 5 year old, I don't know! It's entirely possible!

This is math/science. You're welcome.

Don't bring in religion or all that "God hates gays" shit that Westboro Baptists paint on poster board. Never have I read ANYTHING in the Bible that says God hates anyone. If Jesus came back down to Earth today just to hang out, do you really think He would treat gay people any differently just because they were born attracted to the same sex? The Jesus I read about, the Jesus I know and love and invited into my heart a long time ago would NOT be okay with the way some of His followers are going out of their way to deny rights to gay people.

Being gay is not a choice. It's the way people are born. I always put myself in the other person's Prada's and think how I would feel if I were in the situation they were. What if the tables were turned and straight people were denied the right to get married and homosexuality was the "norm." What if you fell in love with someone and wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person, but could never make it official in the eyes of the law because some people deemed it wrong?

I know I'm not changing anyone's mind here with my psycho-babble, and I'm not trying to! If I were I would have mastered the art of... hypnosis or some shit, I don't know. It's just something that's been weighing on me and I wanted to talk about it.

So check your judgments at the door and let's all have a great party while were here on Earth and love one another! The party ain't going to last forever! You only get so many trips around this disco ball we call Earth.

I totally need to try this shit.

So there. If you didn't like this blog post, then please visit www.es_mah_dee.com/suck-it/html and file a formal complaint with the customer service department. They will then give you a voucher for a free ladder at Home Depot which you can use to CLIMB OFF MY DIIIIAAACK!!!


PEACE!