Fab Five(ish) Friday: Disney Annimated Films

Cinderella

SCANDAL!

When I think of the classic fairy-tale Cinderella the first thing that comes to mind is Disney's version. Disney has monopolized on these classics and really made them their own. As a kid, I used to pretend mice and birds were helping me get ready while I sang and washed up in the shower. Speaking of songs, Cinderella isn't too strong in the music department. It doesn't have any truly epic songs like later Disney films. Today when I watch it I still laugh out loud at Lucifer's tea cup scene and still fill brokenhearted for Cinderella when the Step-Sisters rip a part her dress. I mean, those blue beads were GORGEOUS with that pink dress! Them mice and birds knew how to accessorize!

GURL! Dem beads are EVERYTHING!

To me the blue dress Fairy Godmother made her was never as good as the pink one. I know a lot of you are all like "Dustin, you're crazy! That blue dress was off the chain!" Yeah I know it was, but that pink dress was made out of love by mice and birds for her! I can't imagine being a mouse or a bird and making a whole goddamn dress. All the Fairy Godmother did was say "Bibbidy-bobbity-boo!" and BOOM the dress was done! No thought went into it whatsoever. I feel like we went off on a tangent here, but yeah, know you know how I feel. You're welcome.

AHHHH!!! 

Mulan

YAAAASSSSSSS!!!! I LOVE THIS ONE!!! Fun fact: This was the last Disney animated film I went to see in theaters until my sisters dragged me to Finding Nemo. Mulan is just amazing in all aspects! I love the story, the music, the animation style... just everything was on point for this one.

Always match your foundation to your neck! Not your taint!

If you haven't seen Mulan, first off: GET YOUR DICK TOGETHER AND WATCH IT! Second of all: It takes place in ancient China and It's about a young, tom-boyish girl who doesn't quite fit in anywhere. When the infamous Huns attack their land, One man from every household in China must go off to battle. Mulan's elderly and ill father is called to war. Mulan, being a woman, is unable to fight for him. Knowing that he'll certainly die, she disguises herself as a man and enters the army along with her Eddie Murphy dragon, horse and lucky cricket.

Shang, sorry buddy, I don't think she's interested. It's okay, we've been there.

Mulan has some awesome music in it. I can still sing almost every song by heart. "Honor to Us All,""I'll Make a Man Out of You," "A Girl Worth Fighting For" and my favsie "Reflection." I felt a special bond with the character of Mulan. I felt like we both were outcasts, and often shamed for who we were. I think this resonated with a lot of kids at the time.

BADASS!

Aladdin

"Touch it! Touch it I say!" #SleepingBeautyFlashback

Looking at Aladdin now, it's kinda messed up. It's pretty much about this guy lying and manipulating everyone so he could hook up with a girl. Think about that for a second. BOOM you're childhood is ruined! You're welcome!

See! Lying and manipulating ALWAYS gets you whatever you want!

The highlight of the film is obviously Genie, played by the late, great Robin Williams (Pours one out.). Even today, this movie cracks me up. The songs were epic in this movie too! Typical Disney! Jafar was an awesome villain! I remember being so scared and on edge when he turned into a snake! That was a questionable decision on Disney's part.

Awww! RIP Robin Williams. 

Beauty and the Beast

I had a hard time including this one, in fact, this is one that made my Fab Five into Fab Six. I couldn't leave Beauty and the Beast out. If you were around the age of 5 when this came out, you know what I mean. It was an extremely special movie to us. I think I dragged my poor grandfather back to the movie theater at least seven times to see this one.

Gaston Angry! Gaston SMASH!

I loved all the little household objects that talked and sang. I think that was my favorite part. I loved Mrs. Potts so much that I even had a porcelain tea set with her and Chip(I'm sure it costs my mother a TON.). The slutty feather duster was probably my favorite though "Oh! I've been burned by you before!" Anyone remember that? No? Just me? Okay cool.

The music is fucking amazing. At this point do I even have to say it? I mean "Belle," "Gaston," "Be Our Guest," "Something There"... they were all awesome. I think what you're supposed to take away from this movie is that "outer beauty is only skin deep and it's what's on the inside that counts," whatever. Thank God the Beast turned into a normal looking guy at the end! Can you imagine what kinda ugly-ass babies Belle and him would have had if he stayed the Beast? Gross.

Sorry, I wouldn't drink that tea.

The Little Mermaid

That's like... a REALLY big bow. Just sayin.

Can we talk about this for a minute? Like, can we take a moment and talk about how completely OBSESSED I was with this movie? The Little Mermaid, though released in 1989, had a resurgence in the early 90's making Disney even MORE money! The reason for the resurgence in it's popularity was because Disney made the controversial move of releasing in on video in 1990. Before  Mermaid, Disney simply re-released a film back into theaters every 7 years, which sucks. That kinda crap would NEVER fly today.

LIES! He's telling you lies! Never trust a seagull! 

It's about a sixteen-year-old mermaid named Ariel who has an unhealthy obsession with the human world. She desperately wants to be part of that world, but she can't because she's a mermaid and has scaly fins. After he father is a total jerk, Ariel goes to Ursula the sea witch and exchanges her angelic voice for legs because everyone should make a life altering decision at sixteen! She goes to the surface to romance Prince Eric whom she's somehow in-love with though they've never met. Things don't go as planned when Ursula starts interfering, and now Ariel must fight for her Price, her life and her happy ending.

"Trust me,  you won't regret this decision whatsoever!"

I can't tell you how many times I've sung "Part of Your World" it's my all time favorite of all the Disney movie songs. Even today, I still sing it. I don't care. I remember taking forks and trying to brush my hair with them just like Ariel, this got really embarrassing for my mother when we'd go to restaurants.

Yeah.

Sleeping Beauty

I saved the best for last! Just like Vanessa Williams did! This movie is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The animation style of this film is the best I've ever seen. Alice in Wonderland and Lady and the Tramp were actually done before Sleeping Beauty, and I find this so incredible! The animation style is a complete departure from those films. The movie took almost the entire decade of the 50's to make, and it shows. The attention to detail and the saturation of colors is spectacular. Walt Disney wanted the movie to be a moving piece of Medieval art, and he succeeded in spades.

#TitanicFlashback

While Sleeping Beauty was an artistic triumph, it was a critical failure. Sleeping Beauty was the last fairy-tale genre(The Sword in the Stone doesn't count! It's a fable!) Disney made until The Little Mermaid. Today, Sleeping Beauty has a strong following and is now hailed as one of the best animation films ever made due to it's stylized designs created by painter and art director Eyvind Earle.

Why can't my fairies make ME a crown! Goddammit.

I already blogged about the bad-assery of Maleficent, and how she's the ultimate boss of everything and everyone because she can turn into a FUCKING DRAGON! Prince Phillip is my favorite Disney Prince, because he actually has a fun and interesting personality. The three faeries are great! I love the scene where they're getting everything ready for Aurora's birthday. Were you team "Make it pink!" or team "Make it blue!"? I was Team Blue ALL the way! Pink is so overrated and the blue went better with Aurora's eyes. If you're Team Pink, you're wrong. Your opinion is null and void, thanks for playing!

KEEP IT BLUE!

Honorable Mentions: The Sword in the Stone, The Lion King and Pocahontas.