A Smoky Mountain Christmas (1986)

Directed by: Henry Winkler
Written by: William Bleich and Dolly Parton
Starring: Dolly Parton, Lee Majors, Bo Hopkins, Dan Hedaya, Anita Morris, Rene Auberjonois and John Ritter

Oh yes... It's happening.

And I'm dreamin' of a Smoky Mountain Christmas 

With the kids around the fireplace 

Makin' angels for the tree 

I'm dreamin' of a Smoky Mountain Christmas 

With nothing much that money buys 

But everything worth while in life 

Dreamin' of a Smoky Mountain Christmas

Look it's... CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

Yay, A Dolly Parton Christmas movie!!! YAY!!! God, I love this movie! I've watched this movie every year since I was a little itty-bitty! It never gets old, it's just one of those good movies, safe for anyone to watch. I forget how much I love this movie until I see it again. 

Yeah, Dolly needs to get away from the stress of paparazzi at her window. 

Dolly Parton plays Lorna Davis, a superstar Country singer (I know, it's a bit of a stretch for her.), who decides to escape her hectic life for a while by visiting the Smokey Mountains where she grew up for the Christmas season. When she gets to the cabin her friend lent her, she finds that seven runaway children have taken up residency there. Neither of them wanting to be found out, they agree to live together until after Christmas when they'll figure something out. Lorna also has to deal with a misogynist sheriff who's after her Kool-Aid, a jealous, crazed mountain witch who's envious that the Sheriff wants Lorna's Kool-Aid, a relentless paparazzi and Mountain Dan.  Will this be the Smokey Mountain Christmas Lorna dreams of, of will it just go up in smoke?

It's going to be an adorable Christmas film! You can already tell!

This is such a simple, fun movie. Miss Dolly is at her best as usual. Even more so because she was so connected to this role. Dolly is a lot like her character. Like Lorna, Dolly grew up in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee and came from a poor, mountain family. I love that she's in a secluded cabin with kids, yet she still has her hair, makeup and nails done to the nines. And if you thought Dolly wasn't going to sing in this movie, you'd be sorely mistaken! Any chance she gets to sing, she sings! And we love it! Watching Dolly interact with the kids is so amazing. You can tell she's not really playing a character, she's playing a version of herself. This isn't surprising considering she co-wrote this movie. You can tell this was a labor of love, not just for Dolly, but for everyone involved.

It's Six Million Dollar Mountain Dan!

Lee Majors plays Mountain Dan, a lawyer who's life got far too hectic so escaped to the mountains and became a loner. The kids are terrified of Mountain Dan at first, but the rumors of his cruelty and evilness has been exaggerated greatly. They soon learn Mountain Dan is a good guy. Obviously, Lorna and Mountain Dan become close... we he really wants to climb her mountains. Sorry I couldn't help myself. Lee Majors does a good job, though it wasn't necessarily a hard part for a former Six Million Dollar man to play considering he hardly had any emotion. 

I mean, if I were a cop, I would do the same thing, 

"You don't wanna sleep with me? Bitch, I'm on Dynasty!"

Bo Hopkins does a fantastic job as the smooth-talking Sheriff and main antagonist in this film. I just want to haul off and hit him so much it's fantastic. Then theirs Anita Morris. Anita Morris is probably the standout role in this movie. She plays Jezebel, the evil mountain witch who is obsessed with the Sheriff. Evidently the Sheriff and Jezebel used to be together, and he dumped her for another woman. Now she's making his life, and whatever woman catches his eye's life, a living hell. It even implies that she's killed a woman the Sheriff got close too before. She also has the best lines in the movie: "I am the most beautiful woman you have EVER seen." 

Don't mess with a mountain witch or her fabulous hair.

Guuurl... candles on the stairs? That's irresponsible 

The kids are fantastic and adorable and Dan Hedaya is great as the goofy, but lovable paparazzi. The movie was directed by Arthur Fonzarelli also known as Henry Winkler. This is one of his few directorial jobs and I think he did a fantastic job, especially working with seven kids. 

Dem nails... could she be anymore fabulous?

I wonder if that beard is itchy for her, and her wig for him. 

It's an elf version of Dolly!

I think I had a nightmare like this once...

I love how the movie is a modern fairytale, obviously inspired by Snow White. This movie is just the tits (pun intended)! I love it, and I hope it continues to warm the icy cold hearts of future generations just like it did mine. WE LOVE YOU DOLLY!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT! It's a happy ending!

How about them melon.... I mean... apples.