Malicious Monday: All of the Other Reindeer

Hi. Welcome to another Malicious Monday! Usually I devote Monday to villains I actually like, today, we're doing something different. Today, we're talking about a bunch of bitches I hate.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was originally a booklet written by Robert L. May and published by Chicago based retailer Montgomery Ward in 1939. The retailer had been handing out Christmas coloring books every year, but decided to save money by creating one of their own. From there it evolved in to pretty much any media you could think of: Other books, music, television specials, movies, etc.

The first copy of Rudolph

The song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was written by Robery L. May's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks. Gene Autry's recording of the song hit number 1 on Billboard's pop singles chart the week of Christmas 1949. Autry's record sold 2.5 million copies the first year, eventually selling 25 million all in all. It remained the second best selling record until the 1980's. And we all know about the classic 1964 stop-motion animation special. We've all seen it as kids so I'm not even going to get into that.

From the 1964 TV special.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer recounts the story of Rudolph who is born with a shining red nose. Because he is different, the other reindeer brutally harass him and exile him from their social circle. The 1964 TV special even goes as far to show Santa Claus disapproving of the way Rudolph is, as well as his parents trying to cover up what makes him different. All the bullying of Rudolph ends when a very foggy Christmas Eve rolls around. Santa comes to Rudolph and asks him to shine the way so he can deliver toys. Rudolph agrees and then everyone loves him.

From some animated movie no one watched.

Okay, so I fucking hate this story. I've always hated it. Even as a kid I was like "What!?". First off, it should be said that Santa does not know how to take care of mythical creatures. The Mythical Human Society should be called on his ass for real. You don't stand idly by while one of your pets get abused, whether it be emotional abuse or God forbid, physical abuse. What the fuck Santa?! Get your dick together and stand up for Rudolph! Just because he's different doesn't mean he deserves to be bullied! What is your problem!?!?

"Fuck you Santa."

Then there's the other Reindeer. You're supposed to be mythical, magical creatures! Why are you bulling an innocent, fellow reindeer just because he was born different? You should all be standing together! You're mythical creatures! It's a dangerous time for you bitches! There are hunters out there! Why do you think the Unicorns went into hiding years ago? It just doesn't make sense to me. The other reindeer and Santa didn't give a rat's ass about Rudolph until he could do something for them. They were all like "We know we bullied you and made your life a living hell, but could do this favor for us?" FUCK NO! I would stand back and watch that sleigh crash into a goddamn mountain in blaze of fire and reindeer parts before I would EVER light their damn way. They better be lucky I wasn't Rudolph, because I wouldn't have lifted a hoof for them.

Not even his mother accepted him! What a reindeer cunt!

And okay, I get it, I fucking get it, okay! The story is supposed to be about accepting others for their differences. The problem I have is, they didn't accept Rudolph until AFTER he did them a ginormous favor. I life risking favor. The story is kinda saying "Hey, it's okay to relentless bully people until they can do something for you. Then you can appreciate them and be their friends!" It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like it. I respect it as a Christmas hallmark, and fantastic folklore and stuff, but that's it.

So yeah, there's a different Malicious Monday for you. Usually I love the villains I talk about, but in this case, I fucking hate them. They're the worst. So I hope you enjoyed it and that you're having a marvelous Christmas time! I'll see you in the next post!

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Villain Score: TAXIDERMY